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It helps you to not feel so fucking alone, basically.And I think Nomi’s concern poses a delicate question: Is it time for a nuanced discussion about sex and pleasure for trans women?“At times this makes it easier to communicate, but it also makes people afraid of offending someone, and prevents people from getting deeper into a conversation.” Nomi is concerned, in particular, about the lack of conversation around sex for women who have had sex reassignment surgery (SRS), and the real-life implications the operation can have on their sexual experience.

I’d rather not enjoy sex than live this way.’”Nomi had SRS five years ago, in her mid-20s.“The reality of trans people’s lives is that so often we are targets of violence. If we focus on transition, we don’t actually get to talk about those things.”For the most part, people have respected that request.We experience discrimination disproportionately to the rest of the community. But according to my friend Nomi Ruiz, this has inadvertently created a taboo in the trans community: Nobody talks about sex.A few years ago, as transgender issues leaped to the forefront of the cultural conversation, some famous and otherwise outspoken trans people were quick to steer the focus away from “the surgery.”Many will remember the moment back in January 2014 when actress Laverne Cox schooled Katie Couric, after Couric ask an invasive question about her body.“The preoccupation with transition and surgery objectifies trans people,” Cox told Couric.

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