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There are dozens more where these came from, and they have all led me to conclude that, in dating, we don't give anyone enough of a chance.A grading scale has taken the place of the genuine blossoming of human emotions, and technology is to blame. This problem is at its worst in the gay community, where we're more prone to label each other: top, bottom, vers, masc, fem, twink, bear, otter.I texted him a week after our third date to see if he wanted to "hang out," as we say, but he responded with a detailed account of -- oh-em-gee! A year ago, I met Pointy-Nosed Architect Fella at a gay bar.
I was positive that this guy would not be my husband, but I was willing to keep hanging out with him. Zero others were knocking at my door, so maybe he would grow on me.Absent are those does-he-like-me butterflies that remind you of gawking with goo-goo eyes at your crush from behind the door of a locker. Before phones were computers that fit in your palm, did we treat our potential mates like a shirt we bought at Banana Republic -- totally willing to return it for a refund if we found a shirt we liked more at the Gap? A few days later, he invited me to a late-night IMAX movie last-minute, and we made out during. Our third date was spent at his apartment eating grapes and making out some more.When I meet someone online, my nervousness beforehand is never more than the sort of minor sensations I could expect before a job interview. It got late, he wouldn't let me sleep over, and I went home.Today, however, you can find a guy on Grindr for some no-strings-attached (or NSA, as the abbrev goes) fun, meet up, do your business, and rejoin your wife and kids at church when you're done.Your needs can all be met without your ever having to lead the life of a gay man, which, particularly in a conservative small town, is a painful life to lead.